sujuexchange: (Default)
sujuexchange ([personal profile] sujuexchange) wrote2012-12-04 09:20 pm

Bittersweet (Kyuhyun/Ryeowook/Yesung, G) for sparksfly7

Title: Bittersweet
Author: [livejournal.com profile] angelye
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] sparksfly7
Characters/Pairings: KRY
Rating: G
Genre(s): Drama, Romance
Warnings: None
Author's Note: None



Bittersweet


Kim Ryeowook watches from the sidelines. He always has. He watches with aching chest as the man he loves looks into the eyes of another man with all the adoration and love that he has coveted for so long. He watches as his friend gazes back lovingly at the man who makes his heart flutter with just the sound of his voice. He watches as Jongwoon and Kyuhyun share moments on stage that adoring fans would call as fan service not knowing how much of it is true. He watches just like he has always done before because there isn’t really much of a choice for him. He watches while singing a Christmas song with a practiced smile plastered on his face as he feels his heart break into a million little fragments for what seems to be the thousandth time.

Ryeowook sings his lines perfectly while the other two that make up their trio is busy getting lost in their world in the midst of their concert. He tries to focus on the song and wonders why he is always stuck in bitter-sweet situations. It’s a concert in one of the most beautiful countries in the world before an audience of squealing fangirls who like their trio the most among all the members of Super Junior. They are singing an upbeat song about being broken hearted just the previous Christmas. Their voices mix and meld together; bass, baritone, and tenor. Their ears are assaulted by squeals and screams from the thousands of adoring fans who paid a tad bit too much just to see and hear them perform for a couple of hours. He should be happy. He knows he should. But his heart can’t help but break with every passing moment.

Ryeowook manages to finish the song without breaking down to tears. He goes to the front of the stage where the water bottles are placed to drink and somehow collect his thoughts. Kyuhyun and Yesung asks him about Christmas ad he answers with the only thing that he can.

“Christmas reminds me of schedules.”

“Are you already promoting our concert in Budokan, Ryeowook ssi?” Ryeowook is thankful that there is a translator that talks in between their short exchanges. It buys him time and allows him to keep his self together. They keep talking and pausing only for the translations so that the audience can understand them. It’s nothing that they haven’t discussed before earlier that day but Ryeowook is taken by surprise when Yesung blurts out three words that weren’t meant to be there.

“Don’t leave me.” Ryeowook suppresses a gasp as Yesung catches his eyes for a fleeting second. It was an earnest request almost sounding like a plea, begging the two younger singers not to leave him. The simple words were surprising enough on their own even without the softly pleading look in Yesung’s eyes as he looks at both Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. It bewilders Ryeowook that Yesung would make that request to him and not just Kyuhyun. He tries to think of a response but the maknae beats him to it.

“Don’t worry.” Kyuhyun squeezes Yesung’s shoulder a bit but both words and gesture is enough to reassure the older man that his lover would never leave him. Ryeowook can only give a small affirmative nod. Really! What was he supposed to say?

Sometimes Ryeowook thinks that life is much too cruel to him. Yes, cruel, for it is the only word that he can use to describe the fate that is given him. Thrust in the world of limelight and international fame at a young age, Ryeowook had only dreamt of fame and fortune. He never dreamt of falling in love along the way. Not by a long shot. Never in his fantasies did he think he’d fall in love with a guy and a bandmate at that. Oh! What cruelty! He has fallen irrevocably in love with a person so wonderful and so unique there wasn’t anyone like him. It was oh so very wrong in every possible way, his feelings. He tried to fight it and fought it with every fiber of his being but in the end lost miserably. Yesung is just simply adorable without even trying. Ryeowook was fuming mad with his stubborn heart that just downright refused to stop falling in love.

Ryeowook later on just resigned himself to his fate. He was to love Yesung but not to have him. He was much too timid and too shy to confess and convey his feelings. He didn’t want to jeopardize his friendship with his roommate. What was he to do if he confessed and was eventually rejected? He didn’t think he would be able to handle it. He decided to just keep it to himself then and just be thankful that he is able to spend his days and nights with this wonderful man he calls hyung.

Ryeowook never realized and it never occurred to him that there was someone else amongst the members of Super Junior that has fallen for Yesung. It felt as though lightning has struck him when he watched Kyuhyun lean in and peck Yesung’s lips after the two had just finished practicing Your Eyes. Oh! The irony! Ryeowook had written that song for Yesung, the lyrics his unspoken confession. It was irony at its cruelest form when SM decided that the song be sung as a duet between Kyuhyun and Yesung.

“What was that for, Kyu?” He held his breath as he waited for Kyuhyun to answer Yesung’s question, his hands frozen in mid-air just above the piano keys.

“I … I love you, hyung. Would you … Would you go out with me?” The brat in all his brazen guts stuttered a bit as his pale face turned a bright shade of pink. Ryeowook watched as Yesung’s eyes widened in shock only to afterwards narrow in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me, Kyu? It’s not funny.”

“I’m not kidding, hyung! It’s not supposed to be funny. I’m just being honest with my feelings.” Ryeowook could attest to the seriousness and honesty in Kyuhyun’s voice at that moment. He had not seen the snarky prankseter maknae look more earnest than that time. A feeling of dread and sadness engulfed him as Yesung regarded Kyuhyun for another long moment.

“I love you, hyung. Please... Please go out with me.”

He felt his heart crack and shatter as Yesung pulled Kyuhyun into a hug.

“Yes.” Yesung’s answer was almost a whisper but Ryeowook heard it loud and clear like a bomb that went off inside his head.

He has watched them ever since. He is still watching them now. They have been oblivious of his pain. They still are ignorant until now. He watches with the fake smile plastered on his face. It’s such a long day, and he still has to subject himself to two more.

The second day is not much different. They go about singing their songs and little dances that make the crowd turn from respectable people to a squealing mass of voices and faces. He is still left out most of the time as the two get lost in their own world while the audience lap it up Kyusung being a popular pairing in Japan.
He wakes up on the third day feeling tired and weary more than he probably should and with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knows the moment he gets up that the day ahead will be just as heart breaking if not more. They are all tired and their voices beginning to show signs of strain but they couldn’t stop, they couldn’t disappoint their fans.

He watches again as they sing a sad song and Ryeowook thinks even the title is teasing him. Bittersweet. Yes, indeed! He watches like a barely there third wheel, a part of it but not in the real sense. He watches them get lost in the depths of each other’s eyes while singing what is supposed to be a sad song. He watches as they both get flustered and shy after a failed attempt at a kiss. He watches and he dies a little inside.

Finally it is over. The three days schedules of their concert finished successfully. He treks slowly towards his room after the congratulatory party is over and he has said his thanks and goodbye. He feels all sorts of tired and weary not just from the three grueling days of performances but more so from the heartache. He is so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t hear the sets of footsteps approaching him from the back. He whips his head swiftly as he feels the familiar pressure of a small hand being placed on his aching shoulder.

“Hyung!” He is startled to see Yesung with such a solemn expression on his handsome face.

“Wook-ah, I think we need to talk.” He looks to the other side to be greeted with a nod from Kyuhyun. He can’t help but wonder what brought about the sudden need to have a talk. He suppresses the urge to ask as he swipes the key card for his room and the door clicks open. Yesung motions for them to sit on the bed once they are inside and Ryeowook is left to wait as Kyuhyun and Yesung exchange looks silently before nodding simultaneously. It is Yesung who speaks first.

“Ryeowook-ah, Kyuhyun and I … we want to say sorry for the past few days. We’ve been inconsiderate of you. Forgive us, Wook-ah.”

“It’s okay, hyung. It’s me who should be sorry for making such a comment earlier.”

Yesung leans forward in his chair to reach for Ryeowook’s hands while Kyuhyun just looks on silently from where he is sitting on the bed next to Ryeowook.

“No. It is us, or rather me, who needs to apologize. I am responsible for both of you and yet I made you feel neglected. Leeteuk hyung would be ashamed of me.”

Ryeowook swallows the lump in his throat as he fights the urge to wrap his arms around Yesung’s neck and cry his heart out. He stiffens when he feels long arms wrap around his shoulder.

“What Jongwoon hyung means is that we should have done something about your feelings a long time ago.” Ryeowook blinks and takes a minute to process the meaning of Kyuhyun’s words.

“W …What? How….” Ryeowook wants to kick himself for stuttering but wants the earth to open up and swallow him more than anything.

“We know. We know you have feelings for Jongwoon hyung. Actually I’ve known about it a long time ago. I waited for you to make a move on him but you didn’t so I took my chance and confessed.” Ryeowook finds himself unable to move and notices for the first time that his fingers are intertwined with that of Yesung’s. He lifts his head up to find himself assaulted by the sight of Yesung’s tender smile.

“H ..Hyung?” Ryeowook is utterly confused. If they had known all along, then why aren’t they angry at him? He turns his head to look at Kyuhyun because Yesung seems to have decided that it is the right time to dazzle him with that warm perfect smile of his that sets Ryeowook’s heart aflutter.

“What I’m saying is I don’t mind sharing. I don’t mind if it’s with you.” Kyuhyun whispering those words to his ear is turning Ryeowook’s mind hazy and Yesung’s voice suddenly sounding next to his ear the next moment throws him reeling.

“You know you’ve always been special to me, Wookie. I think it’s time to show you just how much.” Ryeowook wants to pinch himself to check if he is dreaming but finds it impossible to accomplish as he is squeezed between two warm bodies. He wants to ask questions. He wants to hear some explanations. He wants to talk some more. He really does, but when two sets of lips start assaulting your neck with warm kisses that sets your nerves afire he comes to the conclusion that he really doesn’t have much of a choice. He decides that questions can wait. Explanations be damned. For now he is where he should be. He is right smack in the middle of KRY. And he knows there isn’t anywhere else he’d rather be.

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